Driving Ms. Monica

I was whining (without wine) to my good friend, Jessica, about this last night. In fact, it's been on my mind for several weeks. Here it is.... I DON'T WANT TO BE MORE SELF-RELIANT!!!

Did you hear that? Am I loud enough?

You see, the technological revolution is like the industrial revolution on steroids. The mindset that embodies "the bottom line, efficiency, quantity" now has the tools, ie internet, computers, smart everythings, to carry out its mission like never before. And while I appreciate the positives of these changes, with every blessing comes a curse. This is what it looks like, in my mind...

First, dear grocery store at which I spend lots of money. I appreciate that technology now allows us to scan our own food products and self check-out. But here's the deal...if I'm doing my own scanning and bagging because the lines I prefer to go to (with cashiers) are too long because you're not very well staffed because you're wanting more for less,  then I believe I deserve a 5% discount, a free bag of chips, a lotto card...just something for Pete's sake. After all, I'm helping you with your bottom line....you're welcome.

Secondly, when I call the customer service department of my insurance, credit card, banking, pharmacy, retail, YOU NAME IT, company; I want "Would you like to speak with a representative?" as my first option. I don't have the time nor desire to wander through your menu options. The only ones of those I want are when I am sitting my tired self down at a nice restaurant, about to have a gastronomic experience.

Third, where the hell are the full-service gas stations? I remember this growing up in the seventies and eighties. Yes, last century. We had people who would come to our car window and ask us what kind of gas we wanted. They would then promptly pump it and take our payment. They'd even bring us our receipt. We didn't mind tipping them or paying the few cents extra per gallon because these dear souls were preventing us from having to get out of our vehicles in sub-freezing weather, in February, when we'd already endured 4 months of frigidness. Or like where I grew up, it prevented us from the oppressive heat of Alabama summers where it takes 60 seconds to be dripping in sweat. 

Fourth, doctors offices. Every time I visit I fill out your forms. I like pen and paper. Now, before every visit I have to answer the same GD questions online and then some. Really? Don't you have an employee who can do this so that your customers have a better experience? No, I know, because that would require putting the bottom line as a second priority. I understand.

Next, schools. Oh schools. Please listen. Open your ears like you ask your students to do every day and please pay attention. I don't need an email, a text, a phone call and a typed note all saying the same thing. I may be scattered and I know you're trying to reach everyone, but I'm fine being out of the loop a bit. Because, you see, since I have ParentConnect and Blackboard (parents of school aged children know what I'm talking about), I pretty much know everything that I need to know. Really, I'm good. LEAVE ME ALONE, smiling.

And finally, this has nothing to do with the bottom line, but it does have to do with the gist of  beingsick of self-reliance...preferring some pampering. SOMEONE GET ME A CHAFFEUR...LAWD...PLEASE! It's enough that I shuttle my kids and their friends to all of these places, but all of the time. Again, really? 

Can't Ms. Monica just have a driver for one day...one day? Morgan Freeman, where are you when I need you?

P.S. - Thanks for reading! Please comment and share if you enjoyed this piece. And I'm still working on trying to figure out the photos and images...I'll get there...in the meantime it's good old fashioned writing. Now where's my pen and paper?